New Things

Wow, yesterday's blog entry turned into such a downer!  Sorry about that.  It happens sometimes when I drink too much gin.  Let's discuss happier, new things, shall we?

I've updated the blog's layout into something more snazzy.  I was getting very frustrated with a layout where so many gadgets were piled onto the left hand side.  It was unappealing to have to scroll all the way down just to see all of the gadgets I'd added.  So I've opted for a new layout that allows for gadgets to be placed on both the left and right hand sides.  I think it makes a better use of space (so long as I make sure to keep my blog entries of sufficient length to fill things out!)

I'll probably fiddle with the colour scheme here and there, so that text doesn't disappear in the background, but I'm happy with it so far.

As it always happens, the day after I feel really down and uninspired, the next day I feel better and am full of ideas.  I've started writing a short film, and hopefully I can complete it.  I know how it ends, which will hopefully help.  I just have no idea how the middle is supposed to go...so I'll hopefully figure that out as I write it.  Right now it is called "The Dark Road".

Here's how it starts:


EXT. DARK ROAD - NIGHT


A country back road that seems to come from nowhere and is heading for nowhere.  Deep forest lines either side of the asphalt, and the only sound is the gentle rush of wind through the trees.


It is cloudy, and somewhere behind the clouds is the moon, casting a diffuse, monochrome light upon everything.


The sound of an ENGINE whining with speed.  The soft WHIR of tires treading a path upon the road.


Off in the distance, headlights shine, and grow bigger, brighter.


The little car rushes past, leaving a glowing trail of read tail lights behind it.


INT. CAR - NIGHT


EDWIN HORNISH, 36, sits behind the wheel, gripping it with one white-knuckled fist.  He chews upon the inside of his cheek.  His eyes are bloodshot, one of them swollen with a black eye.  But he keeps them fixed on what little he can see of the road ahead.  The spedometer reads a constant 160 km/h.  Top speed for the car.


A BLUES SONG plays on the car’s radio, barely audible above the roar of the engine.


SINGER (ON RADIO)
Lord, it’s hotter than hell down here.
I said it’s hotter than hell down here.
Careful what you say, son.
Ain’t no place hotter than down there.

Other things happen afterwards, of course.  


****


I've recently discovered a cool radio show on the BBC called "The Museum of Curiosity".  It is a companion show to the television series "Q.I", which I have mentioned here before.  I'm really enjoying the radio show.  Its format is quite simple...each week there are three guests on a moderated panel, and they are asked to submit an item to be curated in the "Museum of Curiosity": an imaginary museum home to anything interesting or weird.  The guests are usually comedians, scientists, historians, writers...pretty much anyone you can think of.  


Objects submitted have ranged from "The Battle of Waterloo" to "The Concept of Zero", to "That new scarf knot that everyone does nowadays where you double up the scarf and then stick the ends through the loop, which I swear it seems like people only started doing it maybe 6 or 7 years ago, even though we've had the scarf for centuries, what's up with that?"


The guests each talk about why they think that their choice is worthy of being included in the Museum of Curiosity.  It is a very entertaining, illuminating, and funny show.  


One object that was submitted that I was fascinated by was The Pineapple.


Let's talk about the Pineapple.


It turns out that the Pineapple has had quite a complex history.  When it was first discovered in Brazil in the 1600s (I think) it became such a status symbol in the UK that a single pineapple could be worth the equivalent of thousands of pounds by today's reckoning.  In other words, a pineapple would cost more than a brand new coach!  It was so hard to grow in the UK because of the climate that only the richest people could afford to grow them.  Often someone would need to be hired to sleep in the pineapple patch to constantly ensure that the seedlings were being properly cared for.


And when the pineapples were grown, they wouldn't even be eaten because they were such a status symbol.  People would bring them to parties just to show them off!  They could even be rented out for parties...


Not only that, apparently pineapples have a unique enzyme in their juices that digest protein.  That means pineapples are flesh eating!  Whenever you eat a pineapple, it's also eating you.  That tingling feeling you get in your mouth when you eat a pineapple is actually the juices digesting the proteins in your mouth.  How crazy is that?  The pineapple is the only place in nature where this enzyme is found.


It opens your eyes, learning these kinds of facts.  It makes you realize just how detailed history actually is.  You could write volumes of books just on the history of the pineapple alone.


I'm definitely looking forward to hearing more of the "The Museum of Curiosity".


****


BOOKS


This weekend I finished reading "Unseen Academicals" by Terry Pratchett, the latest Discworld novel.  In this one, Football (soccer) finally comes to Ankh-Morpork.  Technically, Football already existed there, but in a manner totally unlike the version we are familiar with.  The book is about how their football gets changed and improved to become like the sport we have.  


It was an amazing novel, and continues Terry Pratchett's dominance in the world as one of the best writers alive.  The discworld books are so incredibly enjoyable, addictive, and hilarious...but each one also communicates incredibly important themes and messages.


For instance, in this book, one of the main themes is about class, and how it can often seem like you are trapped in a particular place in the world; how people refuse to budge from their social standing, because there is a conception that one will be punished for attempting to break unwritten rules.  The invisible hammer is just waiting to crash down on us if we step out of line.  But the book reveals how the hammer isn't really there.  


But perhaps most importantly, the book talks about the concept of "worth".  What does it mean to be "Worthy"?  What does it mean to be "worthless"?  


The book sums things up quite nicely.  It doesn't matter where you end up in life.  What matters is where you end up compared with where you started.  You need to try your best in this world...but the more best you are capable of doing, the more you should do.


Terry Pratchett always amazes me.  I cannot believe he has written nearly 40 discworld books, and that pretty much all of them are of impeccable quality.


Now that I am done that book, I'm moving on to something new.  Today I went to Chapters and picked up two new things.  First off is "Stories"

A collection of short stories edited by Neil Gaiman and Al Sarrantonio.  There doesn't seem to be much of a common thread between these stories except that each story needed to be plot-centric.  Each story needed to try to capture the magic of just what exactly fiction IS.  Each story is about trying to exercise the imagination.  


It includes stories by a whole host of authors: Jonathan Carroll, Roddy Doyle, Jodi Picoult, Chuck Palahniuk... but I mostly picked it up because it has stories by Neil Gaiman and Gene Wolfe.  Yay!


Secondly, I picked up "Odd and the Frost Giants"

By Neil Gaiman.  I was a bit hesitant to get this, because it was quite expensive for a fairly short book (It's only just over 100 pages, with large type).  It's a story for young readers...but I'm a Gaiman purist so I figured I'd pick it up.  I'd waited for nearly a year before getting it, so I figured why not?  It should make a good read...and I can give it to my nephew when he is old enough to appreciate it.


Well, that's it for today!  This was a super long post, so I probably won't update again for a while.  

What Next?

So the listenings of my EP on ReverbNation have now dwindled after one day of definite success.  Apparently I had over 50 listens on just one day!  That made me feel good...but, as expected, in the days following, the amount of listens dropped off dramatically, and now no one is looking at my profile.

But as I said, I expected this to happen.  Everyone I know who would listen to my music has now listened to it...and anyone who hasn't probably never will.  So unless I find some new avenue to advertise the EP, it will likely go unheard by a great number of people.

But I'm still pretty proud of it.  It feels like a cohesive bit of music.  It's too bad that the widget for listening to the album online creates gaps in between the songs, though, because the album is best heard without any gaps.  I spent so much time on the weekend fussing over the size of the gaps between songs, because I'm one of those people who thinks that how songs transition in an album is incredibly important (I take my cue from Nine Inch Nails).

So if any of you want to hear the album how it should be heard, you need to download it, and listen to it straight through so that the gaps disappear!

So now I'm wondering what I should do next.  What I would REALLY like to do is find some kind of job.  I'm almost out of money!!!!  Paying my taxes took nearly half of my savings....

I honestly cannot believe that it is already June, and that June is almost over.  That means it's been nearly a year since I left my last job (I left at the end of September).  I've been trying to look for work, and there have been some promising steps forward (namely my old boss forwarding my resume to a bunch of her contacts with a glowing reference), but all of the postings online seem far out of my reach, or completely uninteresting.  And the jobs I have applied for, I've had no success with.

And as much as I want to be a creative person, and have a life full of artistic endeavours...I think the sad fact of myself is that I just don't have it in me to do that stuff.  I've spent well over a decade of my life now trying to be a person that I am not.  I am always saying to myself how I'm FINALLY going to write that screenplay...how I'm FINALLY going to direct that brilliant short... but it never happens.  The scripts remain unwritten and every time I start, I come up with some excuse to give up.

So now I'm 29 and I've wasted the better part of my life pursuing a dream for which I was too lazy to put in the actual work needed to achieve it.

Nearly a month ago I went back to my old university for a kind of reunion of my program...and part of me was absolutely terrified about going.  Mostly because I'm currently out of work, by my own choice, and I knew that the main question people would be asking each other would be: "so what are you doing now?"  I didn't really know how to make "Well, I had an okay job for a bit, but then decided to leave because it was tearing me apart inside, and now I live at home with my parents and I'm still kind of torn apart inside, but without earning any money, and I don't really know what I want to do" sound in any way unpathetic.

Thankfully the reunion wasn't like that, because I was surrounded by good friends who pretty much already knew my situation and were understanding and kind about it.  However, I tried hard to avoid talking to people who I didn't know, so that I could avoid having to awkwardly explain everything!  But that's also probably because of my inherent phobia of people.  (I'm not kidding!  I think if I were born in the 17th or 18th Century, I'd be one of those novelty hermits that rich people owned.  Sometimes when I'm walking on the sidewalk, I'll cross to the other side of the street if I see someone walking in the other direction.  I've ALWAYS been like this.  As long as I can remember I've been monstrously shy.)

So I guess putting out that EP was helpful for me.  It made me feel like I was doing something interesting for once.  That I wasn't idling away all my time.  I want to do more of that...but writing song lyrics is so incredibly challenging for me.  I'm only marginally happy with the lyrics I came up with for that mini-record.  It takes practice...but one thing you quickly learn is that song lyrics are NOT poetry.  The same rules don't usually apply.

Oh God, it's so late now.  I should go to bed.  So, like many things in life, this blog entry will end abruptly, and with no central theme or meaning.


*****

P.S.  I'm thinking of trying to record a cover version of Talking Heads's "Psychokiller".  Awesome, no?

Blog Now With My Music!

So I was able to navigate the complexities of Reverbnation, and have added a little sidebar widget to my blog that will allow any visitor to listen to my music!  It may also allow for it to be downloaded, but I'm not sure.

Anyway, just look to your left to see the little player, and you can now listen to "Dissolve" right on the same page!  How easy is that?

BIG NEWS!

Well, I think it's big news...

I've put together an EP of some of my best music!

My official bandname is "Baldanders", after the character of the same name in Gene Wolfe's brilliant "Book of the New Sun" Tetralogy.

The EP is called "Dissolve".  I selected that title because it seemed all of the songs are about someone losing their own self in some manner, whether it be for good or bad.  Although two of the tracks are instrumental.  (The last track is a bit different from the rest...though it is still about losing something.  But it rather takes the position of trying very desperately to hold onto the thing that is being lost.)

I created a reverbnation account that I'll try to build up on in the coming weeks.  I'm hoping I can find someone out there who would be willing to design for me some visual pieces relating to each song on the EP, so that I can create a real hardcopy version of the disc.

In the meantime, you can listen to it fully at the link below, and download it too for free.  I'll try to figure out one of the reverbnation widgets also, so that I can imbed the EP in the blog permanently.

Listen to "Dissolve" here: http://www.reverbnation.com/tunepak/2702532

Music Super Friends

It's time for another entry.  I really do want to update this blog more often.  I should make more of an effort; I am sorry.


Anyways, I joined Twitter some time in 2008 (I think...).  Soon after I joined, I met a musician from Bristol, UK named Rossanne Hamilton.  I listened to her music, and I really enjoyed it.  She's very talented, and we've corresponded quite a bit over the past year.  It's been a great experience.  I don't know many musicians, so it's fun to talk to her about music.


She has a new website, and I thought I'd mention it here.  Not many people read this blog, but every little bit helps!  I've added a music player to my sidebar that plays a selection of her songs.  I recommend listening!


Her website is located at: http://rossannehamilton.bandzoogle.com/fr_home.cfm


Check it out!  Spread the word about her!


Speaking of music, I've recorded a new song.  It's maybe a bit too short...but I'm quite happy with how it turned out.  You can listen to it in the embedded video right here!  It's called Voyager.





My birthday was not that long ago, and my parents gave me a 50 dollar credit for the iTunes store, so I've been downloading music lately.  What I have purchased so far:


The song "He Hit Me" by Grizzly Bear.  It's one of my favourite songs ever.


The self-titled album from Them Crooked Vultures.  Awesome stuff.  Josh Homme really knows how to play with song structure.  I wish I could write music as varied as him.  So many different movements.


The album "Victory Garden" by Laura Barrett.  She plays the Kalimba.  I saw her open for the Magnetic Fields back in February, and really enjoyed her music, so I thought I'd buy her album.  I like supporting new artists.


The album "The Charm of the Highway Strip" by the Magnetic Fields.  Always a good choice.


And finally "Get Color" by HEALTH.  They are pretty amazing.  Give them a listen!


I still have about 11 dollars to spend on the store, but I'm not sure what else to get.  I'll have to do more surfing.  I am always very reluctant about buying music for some reason.  I always want to make sure I'm getting the best possible music for the best possible price.  I rarely buy individual songs, you see...I like buying whole albums.  I'm traditional that way.  

A Distant Star

I've been mulling over an idea for a feature film.

It is a sci-fi movie about a future where humanity has achieved total peace and what could be described as a perfect existence.  Centuries before, researchers discovered a source of limitless, and therefore entirely free, energy.  Having access to limitless energy allowed us to solve pretty much every problem we have, since most conflicts come out of an inequality of resources.  With access to limitless energy, we can have unlimited resources, and that would mean the abolition of money and the concept of wealth, since everyone could have whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted.

Anyways, the story sets up this scenario, but then throws in a wrench by revealing that this perfect society has been built upon a very dark and disturbing lie.  Our main character discovers this lie, and then is faced with making a choice.  Do you allow the lie to continue so that everyone can continue living their perfect lives, or do you expose the lie, and correct it, with the potential consequence being the complete destruction of your civilization?

It's an interesting conflict, I think.  Our main character will be forced to make a decision that some would say she has no right to make.  Is it okay to do something that you feel, deep down, is absolutely the right thing to do, even if it means it will affect a lot of people in a negative manner?

Is it okay to declare a war against an evil enemy, even if it means that innocents will die?

These are tough questions, and ones that I think we honestly face in this world.

Is peace really worth it if it means sacrificing your morals and principals?

A peace founded on a lie, and cheaply earned, cannot last.  There are some things that are worth fighting and dying for.

Guy Consolmagno

I haven't updated in a long time, and I promise to update more in the near future, but I found a video I wanted to share.

It's a discussion with Brother Guy Consolmagno, a Catholic Priest who runs the Vatican Astronomy Observatory (yes, the Vatican has an Observatory).

I thought I'd post it because I've always been fascinated by the discussion of Science vs. Religion, and how I think people are picking the wrong fight when they set those two things to clash with one another.

I also think it's a nice video to watch to see how rational and scientific priests can be, especially with the current popular view of the Catholic Church as an organization that just breeds and protects pedophiles.

Anyways, here's the video.  It's an hour long, but I think definitely worth watching (Hope it works).

NOTHING WORKS RIGHT!

Urghghgugh.

So, last night I was supposed to go have dinner with a couple of friends downtown.  I had really been looking forward to it, because I honestly don't get out very much.

We were supposed to meet at 7pm, which would require me leaving the house at around 6, since I live up in Markham and it can take a while to get downtown during peak traffic periods.

I get into my car, turn the key in the ignition and ... whrrrrr *click!*

I try it again and ... *click!*

Now the car didn't even want to start.

I thought maybe my brother, who had used the car earlier, accidentally left the lights on and killed the battery (for some reason he turns on the full night lights during the day, instead of letting the car just use its automatic daytime lights), but the battery was fully charged.

Under no circumstances could we get the car started.  Now it's being towed to a Canadian Tire for repairs.  Hopefully it will be a quick repair...

It just sucks because now we need to reschedule that dinner I was supposed to go to (we ended up cancelling the thing).  And everyone but me is an incredibly busy person with limited free time.

It is often frustrating being the one who always has free time while everyone else always has plans.  I'm always the one who is saying, "I'm totally free any night whatsoever", while everyone else is available for maybe one night a month.  So it often ends up that with some of my friends, I maybe see them once a year.

And it's not just because I'm not working right now!  Even when I was working my evenings would be totally free, while everyone else always had things going on.  It was not an unusual occurrence for me to be at home all weekend for months on end.

But I guess it wasn't all bad; staying in on weekends is how I discovered the genius of the British show The Vicar of Dibley.

I wonder if this is somehow my fault.  If I am not a social enough person, or if I don't take enough initiative...

No idea.  Time to play some guitar.

By the way, here is a song I recorded about a year ago.  I don't like the title "Untitled 2" obviously, but I've never gotten around to renaming it:

Quite Interesting....

I'm reading a couple of cool books.

1.  DROOD

This is a book that Dan Simmons released last year, and which just came out in paperback last month.  I picked it up when I saw it, because the hardcover was too big, and also because I've really enjoyed Dan Simmons's books in the past.  

This novel seems to be in a similar style to his previous novel The Terror, which is fiction, but is based on the facts of the true story of the Franklin Expedition.  In Drood, we are given a fiction based on the facts of Charles Dickens's final five years alive.  In 1865 Charles Dickens survived a horrible train crash while returning to London from France.  After the crash, Dickens got pretty weird, apparently, becoming obsessed with corpses and traveling around to dark and dangerous places in London in the middle of the night.  In the novel, he is obsessed with finding a man named Drood, who Dickens meets under mysterious circumstances in the aftermath of the train crash.

I'm not terribly far into the novel at this point.  I'm just shy of 200 pages in, and it is a near 800 page novel...but I'm finding it very addictive so far.  It is written from the perspective of Wilkie Collins, a contemporary of Dickens's.  

I have a feeling after finishing this novel, I'll want to read a lot of Dickens.  I've never read anything by him before, but I've bought my mother a few of his novels in the past, so I will read those.

Dickens's final novel was The Mystery of Edwin Drood.  He never finished it.  Is there anything more fascinating than a mystery left unsolved?

2.  THE BOOK OF GENERAL IGNORANCE

The Book of General Ignorance comes from the people who are behind the wonderful British Panel Show: Q.I.

Q.I. is hosted by Stephen Fry, and basically it is a quiz show where comedians on a panel are asked to provide answers to little known trivia.  The comedians are given points not so much for giving the correct answer, but for giving the most interesting answer.  The person with the most points at the end of the show wins.  What do they win?  They win the show.

You are penalized points if you give an answer to a question that "everyone knows is right", but is in fact WRONG.  The show does a great job of dispelling common myths, like that baseball was invented in Cooperstown, USA (WRONG!  It was invented by the English in the 1700s).  Or that glass is not actually a solid, but a very slow moving liquid (WRONG!  Glass is a SOLID.  To be specific, an AMORPHOUS SOLID.)  

The book contains all sorts of interesting bits of knowledge along these lines.  For instance: America was NOT named after the Italian merchant and cartographer Amerigo Vespucci, which is what everyone KNOWS is the right answer...

In fact, America is named after Richard Ameryk, a Welshman, and wealthy merchant of Bristol.  He was John Cabot's chief financier for his second transatlantic expedition in 1497 and 1498.

In way of evidence, the book states the following:

Cabot mapped the North American coastline from Nova Scotia to Newfoundland.  As the chief patron of the voyage, Richard Ameryk would have expected discoveries to be named after him.  There is a record in the Bristol calendar for that year [1497]: '...on St John the Baptist's day [24 June], the land of America was found by the merchants of Bristowe, in a ship of Bristow called the Mathew [Cabot's ship]', that clearly suggests this is what happened.

Although the original manuscript of this calendar has not survived, there are a number of references to it in other contemporary documents.  This is the first use of the term 'America' to refer to the new continent.

The book then goes on to explain that the misconception that America was named after Amerigo Vespucci came from a French cartographer in 1507, who had seen the name America to describe the new continent on other maps, but who was not certain as to the name's origin.  He had assumed it was a latinized version of Amerigo Vespucci's first name, who had discovered and mapped South America from 1500 to 1502.

But Vespucci never used the term "America" to describe his discoveries.  This is because it was unfounded for anyone to name a discovery after their FIRST name.  It was always the LAST name that was used.  If America had been named after Vespucci, it would have been something like "Vespucciland."

The book has a whole host of other interesting facts...like that the largest living organism in the world is a honey fungus mushroom patch in Oregon, whose root system covers 2,200 acres, and is approximately between 2,000 and 8,000 years old.  It is all one connected root system.

The book also says the the colour of the universe is Beige.

I also just read that the capital of Thailand is not called Bangkok, but is actually called "Grung Tape".  Bangkok is a name that apparently only ignorant foreigners use.  The Thai haven't called the city by that name in over 200 years.  Bangkok was the name of the fishing village that existed in that location before the king Rama I moved the capital there and renamed the city in 1782.

Grung Tape is actually just the first part of the city's name.  The actual name is 152 thai characters long, consisting of 64 syllables.

The full name translates in English to:

Great City of Angels, the supreme repository of divine jewels, the great land unconquerable, the grand and prominent realm, the royal and delightful capital city full of nine noble gems, the highest royal dwelling and grand palace, the divine shelter and living place of the reincarnated spirits.

This book is indeed Quite Interesting

***

This blog entry has taken a while to do, which has distracted me from my task for this afternoon, which is to do some preliminary research into the Crusades.  It's for a movie idea I had a long while back, but something just clicked into place in my head yesterday about it, so I want to start doing some research and planning to see if the idea starts growing in my head even more.

So until next time!!!

Absence

It has been a while since I last updated, and mostly because the past week has been fairly difficult to get through.

This brings up an interesting question about how personal I want this blog to be.  Generally, I don't think I will write anything here that is too personal, or violates the privacy of any of my friends.  So I'll talk a bit about what has been going on, but not much.

Sadly a very close friend of mine passed away about a week and a half ago.  I knew it was coming, but it was still very upsetting and shocking.  Her parents asked me to help them with a number of things to try to give her the best funeral possible, so I spent most of last week using my meager talents and skills to honour her memory as best I could.

Wherever she is right now, I hope she is watching me, and willing to pass on to me tons of strength to help me continue on and push through this life of mine.

Okay, that's now done.

Now on to random musings on the Olympics.

I have become addicted to watching curling lately.  It's a fascinating sport.  Once you know the rules and strategy behind it, the pace of the game suddenly picks up, and the tension mounts.  I'm impressed by how well the Canadians have been doing, but I am worried they will get upset in the gold medal matches.  We shall see!

I kind of want to try it out.  I have some friends who play on teams...maybe I can talk to them about it.

(I probably won't).

And last night, I am not ashamed to say, I watched the Ice Dancing competition.  Canada won Gold, and I don't think is should be considered as any less of a gold medal than any purely athletic competition.  I think people should be rewarded just as much for creativity, artistry, and originality, as for getting the best time in something.

I often hear people (mostly men) complain that they shouldn't have artistic competitions in what should be an entirely athletic competition.  I disagree.  Why shouldn't the olympics also be about artistic achievement?  Isn't art and creativity also a component of the perfection and idealization of the human form?

In the ancient games back in Greece, they would include competitions in Poetry and Music composition.  Though yes, these technically didn't happen in the proper OLYMPIC Games, but instead in the PYTHIAN games, which were held in the two years between the Olympics, at Delphi in the honour of Apollo.  But I think my argument here still holds up.  Artistic achievement was viewed as just as much of a way to honour the Gods as the athletic events.  And the ancient greeks had no qualms about differentiating a winner from the group.  There was none of this "oh, but it's all so subjective" nonsense.

Sure, art can be subjective at times, but I think we often say "it's all so subjective" as a way to prevent us from actually thinking about the piece of art we are viewing in a meaningful manner.

Speaking of the ancient games, I really wish they'd bring back the Pankration.  Though I guess that's technically what UFC is these days?

#fakeolympicsports

I've been trying to start a twitter trend called #fakeolympicsports, but so far it seems I'm the only one who has put up any suggestions.

I even petitioned John Hodgman to see if he'd be willing to mention this hashtag so that other people would get on board, but he hasn't replied to me.

So I'll list some of the fake events here:

1.  Snowball Fight

2.  Biathalon - 15k pig shoot

3.  Polar bear provocation

4.  Mass-start bobsled

5.  Romantic snowscape poem composition (free-form)

6.  Romantic snowscape poem composition (iambic pentameter sonnet)

7.  Exposure

8.  Avalanche triggering

9.  Avalanche rescue

10. Name pissing

11. 5 m spring board diving (outdoors)

That's all I can think of right now.  Does anyone else out there have any suggestions???  I'll try to think of more later....

"It's been a strange life"

After a moment the small man came in carrying his bag, and Forlesen's son placed a chair close to the coffin for him and went into the bedroom.  "Well, what's it going to be," the small man asked, "or is it going to be nothing?"


"I don't know," Forlesen said.  He was looking at the weave of the small man's suit, the intertwining of the innumerable threads, and realizing that they constituted the universe in themselves, that they were serpents and worms and roots, the black tracks of forgotten rockets across a dark sky, the sine waves of the radiation of the cosmos.  "I wish I could talk to my wife."


"Your wife is dead," the small man said "The kid didn't want to tell you.  We got her laid out in the next room.  What'll it be?  Doctor, priest, philosopher, theologian, actor, warlock, National Hero, aged loremaster, or novelist?"


"I don't know," Forlesen said again.  "I want to feel, you know, that this box is a bed - and yet a ship, a ship that will set me free.  And yet ... it's been a strange life."


"You may have been oppressed by demons," the small man said.  "Or revived by unseen aliens who, landing on the Earth eons after the death of the last man, have sought to re-create the life of the twentieth century.  Or it may be that there is a small pressure, exerted by a tumor in your brain."


"Those are the explanations?" Forlesen asked.


"Those are some of them."


"I want to know if it's meant anything," Forlesen said.  "If what I suffered - if it's been worth it."


"No," the little man said.  "Yes.  No.  Yes.  Yes.  No.  Yes.  Yes.  Maybe."


Today I finished reading "Forlesen", a short story by Gene Wolfe, which I read in his collection: The Best of Gene Wolfe

It's a heartbreaking story about the modern working man.  As in most works by Gene Wolfe, identity is a mixed up, irresolute concept: easily interchangeable and in flux.  

A man wakes up in his house knowing absolutely nothing about himself or how to live life.  Everything he learns is from pamphlets left for him in his house, and from his wife (who also has woken up knowing nothing).

He is instructed to go to his job in a management and supervisory position at Model Pattern Products, a company that does not seem to do anything of significance, and where the positions of every worker seem to flip flop regularly.  It is a workplace where you find yourself in meetings discussing non-sensical concepts, and where you are plopped down at your desk with a list of incredibly vague responsibilities, and told to make yourself useful.

It is sadly far too similar to how the working life these days actually is like.

It ends with the paragraphs I posted at the start of the entry.

In Gene Wolfe's afterward on the story, he writes:

There are men - I have known a good many - who work all their lives for the same Fortune 500 company.  They have families to support, and no skills that will permit them to leave and support their families by other means in another place.  Their work is of little value, because few, if any, assignments of value come to them.  They spend an amazing amount of time trying to find something useful to do.  And, failing that, just try to look busy.


In time their lives end, as all lives do.  As this world recons things they have spent eight thousand days, perhaps, at work; but in a clearer air it has all been the same day.


The story you have just read was my tribute to them.


Chilling.

I wonder which of his stories I will read next.  I definitely still need to read "The Death of Doctor Island", but that is a longer novella.  I might want to read his shorter stuff first.

It is impossible for me to overstate how much Gene Wolfe's writing means to me, and how much it has affected my life.  I seriously recommend giving his work a try.  It can be intimidating yes, because he requires every ounce of your concentration, and his books usually demand second or third readings before the finer details and mysteries become apparent.  But once you read the beauty of his writing, it is impossible to go back.

He is the greatest writer alive today, bar none, and you have never heard of him.  And that's not just my opinion.  Neil Gaiman agrees, as does Michael Swanwick, Patrick O'Leary, and many others who know what they are talking about far better than me.

The Dada Polka

Monday was the Magnetic Fields concert, and a great time was had by all.  I was really impressed by their arrangements.  You can really tell how talented a songwriter is when they take a song largely based on electronic instruments, and can make it sound even better as an acoustic version sans drums.

Well done, Magnetic Fields.

They played a lot of material, from the whole of their catalogue.  Including:

Summer Lies
Falling in Love with the Wolfboy
100,000 Fireflies
The Nun's Litany
You and Me And The Moon
All The Umbrellas in London
I Don't Really Love You Anymore
Infinitely Late at Night
You Must Be Out of Your Mind
Interlude
We Are Having a Hootenanny

And many more.  One thing I am surprised by is that they didn't play anything from "Holiday".  It would have been great to hear them do "Take Ecstasy With Me".  But you can't have everything.

I bought a t-Shirt.  This is the Front.

This is the Back.

And this is a close up of the front art.

The shirt was designed by M + E, whose work can be seen at that link.  

They are also keeping a blog about their travels on the tour (they run the merch booth).  That can be found at: We Are Having a Hootenanny.  Look at all of the nice things they have to say about Toronto.

I am fiddling on my guitar while I type this, and I really am not doing very well at it.  I need to get back to basics and work on my fingering.

Under More Stars Than...

Who gets to see The Magnetic Fields live on Monday night?  Oh yeah!  I do!!!

Not only that, apparently someone has spent 10 YEARS making a documentary about Stephin Merritt.  I hope it gets to screen in Toronto some time soon...maybe it'll have to wait for the festival.



And here is an example of one of my favorite songs by him!  Not to mention an amazing video...

Oscar

Let's go through this year's Oscar Nominees for Best Picture, shall we?

1.  Avatar (James Cameron)



I honestly was underwhelmed by this movie, which was disappointing because I was definitely looking forward to it.  I was very impressed by the trailers, and it looked to me like the movie was going to have a very interesting story.  Unfortunately, I don't think it delivered on that promise.  The story was instead overly simplistic and heavy-handed; I have very little patience for a story that has a big bad guy just for the sake of having a big bad guy.  The movie never offered me any option about whose side I should be on in the conflict.  Not that there always has to be two sides to every issue, but I felt like this story would have benefitted from introducing some complexity into the storyline.

But no, instead we get good guys who are obviously very good, and bad guys who are obviously irredeemably bad.  It was just so easy to see through the movie, to what its "message" was.  And the movie never bothers to offer us any middle ground.  The only characters who might represent some sort of middle ground (Sigorney Weaver and the other scientists) almost immediately get marginalized as ineffective and useless.  No, in this world you either are a tree-hugging (or hair-latching?) technology-shunning native, or an earth-raping ignorant capitalist.  It's a choice that I don't believe is very constructive for our modern times, and is also completely impractical.  Does Cameron really think the only solution for our troubles these days is to throw out all of our scientific progress and engineering, and to just go off and live in the woods in small communes, allowing all of the negative things that would come with that, like a high mortality rate?  I don't think even James Cameron believes that's the right course of action.  But it's the convenient answer to the dilemma he poses in the movie.

And don't get me started on the portrayal of the Na'Vi.  Sure, they are an alien culture, but it's pretty obvious to me that we are meant to draw parallels between them and our own native cultures here on Earth, whether they are American Natives, or African Natives or what have you.  The idea that somehow these native cultures are more in-tune with the environment, or live more "in balance" with the land, is a false one that is constantly being debunked.  Native cultures never treated their environment any differently than western ones (the only difference being that western cultures developed technologies that ended up having a far greater impact).  They fought wars with each other...they took all they could from the land without realizing potential consequences...in short they are just like any other group of humans on the planet.  We are all a lot more similar to each other than we give credit.

The evidence is clear that whenever the first humans migrated to new land areas that before had been free of humans, the migration coincided with the mass extinction of local animals.  This happened in Australia, and in the Americas, and it happened QUICKLY, usually taking just a few hundred years.  As well, there is convincing evidence that the Sahara Desert was created by the over-farming of cattle by African natives.  You can look at pretty much every culture of humanity and see examples of how that culture negatively affected its environment.  So the idea that a native culture lives an idyllic, peaceful existence in perfect harmony with its surroundings is a misrepresentation of the facts.  Once again this speaks to the oversimplification of Avatar's story.  The movie is afraid to introduce any complexity.

And speaking of the Na'Vi, if James Cameron really did want to portray an alien world in a very realistic and biologically correct manner, why not make the Na'Vi have more variation in their appearance?  Do they all have to be blue???  It would have been nice if when you showed the Na'Vi from the other parts of the world, you could see definite evolutionary differences in their traits, instead of just pigeonholing them all into a single homogenous entity.

Wouldn't it have been cool if maybe there was a section of the Na'Vi who were collaborating with the humans???

I'm just glad this one wasn't nominated for best screenplay.

But anyways...

2.  The Blind Side



I haven't seen this, and don't have much desire to.  It seems a bit too sentimental for my tastes.

3.  District 9



This was an incredible movie and one of my favourites from last year!  I think it was a far better sci-fi film than Avatar, and was far more revolutionary in terms of special effects.  I think the effects even looked better here than in Avatar.  Something about the handheld documentary style of the action gave the CG a greater credibility.  And it was nice to see a sci-fi action film that wasn't American centric.  The movie does get a bit confusing in terms of style (it plays fast and loose with its documentary form), and it does introduce a bad guy that is there just for the sake of being bad...but the movie is just so cool that those shortcomings are easily overlooked!

4.  An Education



Haven't seen it, and I know nothing about it.  It looks like a pretty standard sort of "Best Picture" movie. I wouldn't mind giving it a go.

5.  The Hurt Locker



Also haven't seen it.  I've heard very good things from people who have, which probably means if I did see it, I'd try to find reasons to hate it.

6.  Inglourious Basterds



What an amazing movie.  There's a lot of stuff going on in this one.  Quentin Tarantino is a director with a very focused sense of style, but I never find his style gets in the way of enjoying the movie, which is admirable.  It'll take me a while to figure out just what this movie was trying to accomplish, and I like that feeling.  There's a lot more I want to say about this movie, but it'll take me time to figure out how to word it properly.

7.  Precious



Please see what I wrote in regards to "The Blind Side"

8.  A Serious Man



I haven't seen this either, but I love the Coen Brothers, and I'll hopefully see this movie one day.  I just hope they end up making that adaptation of "The Yiddish Policeman's Union" that I heard about a few years ago.

9.  Up



One of the best animated films Pixar has ever made, and that says a lot.  But I am conflicted...this movie is also nominated in the Best Animated Feature category, and I have a feeling it will win that category instead of this one.  Why is that a problem?  Because "Coraline" is also nominated for Best Animated Feature, and it would just be amazing if "Coraline" got to win an Oscar.  Wouldn't it be cool if Neil Gaiman got to go on stage with Henry Selick to accept the award?  He probably wouldn't, though...he'd want Selick to get all the attention.

10.  Up in the Air



Haven't seen this one.  Not dying to see it.  Not sure why not.

More Lost!!!

I'm sorry...this is so cool.

Shimmer shiver shimmer!

MOOOON!

I forgot to mention that last night my dad and I watched Duncan Jones's movie "Moon" starring Sam Rockwell.  Duncan Jones, for the record, is David Bowie's son, so I found it very interesting that Ziggy Stardust's offspring has created one of the best science fiction movies of the past decade.

I love it when a science fiction movie comes along that is about ideas, and not about action. I think if you wanted to screen a double bill of thought-provoking sci-fi cinema, "Moon" would go nicely with "Gattaca".

I won't give away anything about "Moon", except that you should try to see it if you can.  I bought it on blu-ray a week ago, and the image quality is astounding.

But I think the most interesting aspect of the film is its treatment of technology. Traditionally in cinema, humanity's relationship with machines and so-called artificial intelligences is generally viewed with animosity and skepticism.  The increased presence of technology is viewed as a dehumanizing aspect of our progress.  Inevitably, artificial intelligences usually end up turning against us, and wind up being our downfall.  "Moon" doesn't seem to fall into that easy trap, and I think paints a picture of technology and robotics that is more copacetic with our own experiences from today.  Again, if you were to want to screen this movie with another sci-fi movie, "2001: A Space Odyssey" would be another good choice, as the comparison between the two I think would end up shocking the audience.

Later tonight I'm hoping to find time to watch Wim Wenders's 1988 film "Wings of Desire", which I picked up on blu-ray at the same time as "Moon".

In September of 2004, a plane crashed...

In just two days the final season of "Lost" begins!  It is an exciting time, and I'm very pleased that there have been so few spoilers floating around about what happens this season.  I've kept myself well behaved too, I think, in terms of hunting out spoilers.  I really want to be totally blown away and surprised by what happens this year (something I haven't been very disciplined about for previous seasons).

I firmly believe that "Lost" will go down in history as a revolutionary program for modern television.  How often is a TV show allowed to end on its own terms when its ratings are still quite good?  It is a show that kept its story as the topmost priority, and it was definitely not afraid to take huge risks.

Unless they somehow completely screw it up this final season (which I highly doubt), "Lost" will be one of those TV shows that will stand the test of time, and will truly be a piece of storytelling that deserves its place among other great works of literary science fiction.

Anyways, I can't wait for Tuesday to get here.  They did a screening of the first hour on a beach yesterday in Hawaii (where the show is filmed), but I've kept myself from reading anything about what took place in the episode.  I'm really going to enjoy this run...

Thursday: The Man

Syme sprang to his feet, shaking from head to foot.  'I see everything,' he cried, 'everything that there is.  Why does each thing on the earth war against each other thing?  Why does each small thing in the world have to fight against the world itself?  Why does a fly have to fight the whole universe?  Why does a dandelion have to fight the whole universe?  For the same reason that I had to be alone in the dreadful Council of Days.  So that each thing that obeys law may have the glory and isolation of the anarchist.  So that each man fighting for order may be as brave and good a man as the dynamiter.  So that the real lie of Satan may be flung back in the face of this blasphemer, so that by tears and torture we may earn the right to say to this man, "You lie!"  No agonies can be too great to buy the right to say to this accuser, "We also have suffered."


That is a paragraph near the end of G.K. Chesterton's masterpiece, "The Man Who Was Thursday: A Nightmare", which I finished reading this morning.  It's a fascinating little book from 1908, a time when there were a great deal of anarchy movements throughout Europe (Archduke Franz Ferdinand's assassins had ties to an anarchy group.)  Though I think it is just as relevant today.  Each generation must feel that it is on the precipice of collapse into chaos and anarchy.  Are the problems we face today any more or less severe than those that faced the generation witnessing the complete destruction of Europe in 1914, and again in 1939?  Are our problems today any worse than those that faced the Romans as the Huns sacked and pillaged their city?  The world is always on the brink of collapse, and it would easily plunge into anarchy but for the actions of those small few who would see the world not collapse.

I bought the book many many years ago, having heard Neil Gaiman talk about it on a few occasions, but I delayed in reading it up until now.  It will take me a good while, and probably another reading, to really wrap my head around all of the things going on in it.  It's not terribly long, clocking in at under 150 pages, but there's a lot of subtle, complicated ideas at play.

A man named Syme gets into an argument one evening with a man named Gregory.  Gregory, an impassioned anarchist and poet, says that only anarchy can give birth to true art, and only in anarchy can the spirit of man be truly fulfilled.  Syme disagrees with him, seeing the greatest art in the world being based in order.  He sees far greater beauty in a timely subway schedule than in the dazzling spectacle and ferocious power of a detonating stick of dynamite.  Whereas Gregory says mankind is full of sadness and lament for knowing that the subway will come on time, Syme argues the sheer magnificence and wonder that of all things that could happen in the universe, the train actually makes it to the station it intends, at the time that we expect it to arrive.

"Chaos is dull; because in chaos the train might indeed go anywhere, to Baker Street, or to Bagdad.  But man is a magician, and his whole magic is in this, that he does say Victoria, and lo! it is Victoria."


Syme eventually questions how serious of an anarchist Gregory is, which entices Gregory to prove his seriousness to Syme.  He decides to lead Syme somewhere significant, but first he first makes Syme promise not to tell anyone about what he may see that night.  Syme agrees, and Gregory reveals to him that he is part of a secret anarchist group; he also takes Syme to his branch's secret meeting room beneath a tavern, where his compatriots will soon meet to elect a new representative to the High Anarchist European Council.  Syme, astounded by what he sees, and just moments before the meeting is to take place, asks Gregory to return to him the promise that he himself has made, asking Gregory not to tell anyone what Syme might choose to reveal to him.  Gregory reluctantly agrees, and Syme then tells Gregory that he is actually an undercover detective, assigned the task of rooting out secret anarchist groups!

With both men bound by an oath to not reveal their true identities to anyone, Syme, through certain machinations, manages to get himself elected to the High Anarchist European Council, taking on the code name "Thursday."  (There are 7 members of the Council, all named after days of the week.)  It is then that Syme meets the leader of the group, Sunday, a man who seems to be as powerful, and as large, as a god might be.

The book ends up being quite funny and farcical.  But it also raises some very interesting theological questions about our relationship with God.  As I said, it will take me quite some time to wrap my head around all of what's going on in the book.  I will probably need to do some further research on the book to truly grasp what the point of it was.  But I'm guessing the bulk of the purpose of the book rests in the paragraph I posted above.  That the man who governs and fights for order suffers just as greatly for the cause as does the revolutionist.  And perhaps God is the one who suffers the most.  "Can ye drink of the cup that I drink of?"

I have another Chesterton book, "The Napoleon of Notting Hill", that I will have to read one day.  I also downloaded a bunch of audio recordings of his short stories "The Tales of Father Brown", which are a bunch of mystery stories with a Catholic Priest as the protagonist.  I'm very much looking forward to hearing those.  Chesterton also has a number of theological essays that I would like to read one day, if I can find a copy anywhere.

(For those who have read The Sandman, Chesterton makes a number of appearances in those comics, with the character of Gilbert being based on him.)

I'm not quite sure what I will read next.  I think I will try to tackle a few more Gene Wolfe short stories: specifically, "The Hero as Werwolf,"  and "The Death of Doctor Island."  Gene Wolfe is my go-to author.  Whenever I am not sure what I want to read next, I invariably end up reading something by him.  I never tire of him.

Incidentally, Gene Wolfe has a new book coming out in March, called "The Sorceror's House."  I love how he is well into his 80s, but still manages to release a new novel practically every year.  I wish I will one day be as productive as he is.

Now I must away myself from Blogger, to begin drafting a treatment of a short film idea I had a few weeks ago.  It's called "Coyote."

Whiteout

I am typing this by my bedroom window, and I cannot see to the other side of the park because of all the snow falling.  It is a harsh, angry, blowing snow.  However, it is a nice change from the past few weeks, where rain and mild weather have made the snow that fell back in December all but vanish.  The only troubling part is that I am sure I'll need to do some shovelling of the driveway later on.  My back and shoulders are not in the best of shape, so it can be a bit of a challenge for me.  But I suppose it is a worthy price to pay, in order to see a field of solid white behind the house, rather than the usual vomitous collection of spotty browns, pale greens, and mysterious yellows.

I am starting to learn more about customizing this blog.  You may notice on the side I have added a twitter feed, where you can see all of my latest tweets.  My tweets are not all that interesting, but feel free to follow me if you are into that kind of thing.

More changes will come over time.  I am hoping to learn enough one day to completely redesign the site, so that it has more of a personal look, rather than just using a stock template.

Perhaps I should talk about what my day was like yesterday.

For the past two and a half weeks, up until yesterday, I had been working once more at my old job, which was as a casting assistant for a company that casts movies and television shows.  I had left the job in September, feeling that casting just wasn't right for me, and that I wanted to move on to different things.  However, in December the person who replaced me (though it's more complicated than that) asked if I could cover for her while she went on vacation in January.  I agreed.

It felt good to be back on the job, and thankfully it wasn't too crazy while I was there.  There was a lot of work, and I had plenty of late nights, but there was never anything that I wasn't able to handle.  The two and a half weeks flew by.

I suppose one of the big reasons I wanted to leave the job originally was because of the stress it was causing me.  And the stress I was feeling was often caused by circumstances way beyond my control, which made it worse.  If the stress I am feeling can be solved by me, then I can handle it fine; but if it is caused by other people (people I don't even know, and who are sometimes all the way on the other side of the country), then I go crazy because I still feel all the stress, but there's not one thing I can do about it.

Part of me does not enjoy having to trust other people to accomplish a task that is required for me to be successful in my job.  There ended up being so many moving parts involved that I felt overloaded and scrambled.  Whatever I end up doing next in life, I want it to be something where my work is more focused; where I'm not trying to quell fifty fires at once.

But for now I am back in the world of the unemployed.

Last night I watched Barack Obama's State of the Union.  Overall it seemed like an okay speech, though he was less inspirational than usual (but that might be a good thing.)  The speech seemed all over the place, but I guess that's what State of the Unions are usually like.

I'm not American, but I pay attention to American politics way more than Canadian politics, which is a shame, I know, especially since our government has its own heap of problems at the moment.

I think the part I liked best about President Obama's speech was where he discussed the severe paralysis affecting Washington these days.  It is true that politicians are locked in perpetual campaigns, where the safest way to keep your job is to do absolutely nothing at all.

The worst of them all is the Senate, which is sad, since that is supposed to be the most level-headed body in American politics.  But the Senate has transformed into a tired, old oligarchy, constantly stifling the will of the people in favour of special interests that will help them get re-elected.

It is time for congressmen and women to be subject to strict term limits.  Am I the only one who thinks it's ridiculous that a Senator should be allowed to stay in power for 40-plus years?  What good can that possibly do for anyone?  Even if he or she is constantly re-elected, I would argue that it is still undemocratic.  The representative position that the senator holds should be a far greater thing than the senator holding it.  The two should never become synonymous.

While we're at it, the whole American political system should be overhauled.  It is an ancient, inefficient, overly complicated system based on a model of class distinction.  One needs only look at the fall of the Roman Republic to see how that system of representation eventually turned out.

But I am starting to talk about things beyond my level of expertise, which is my signal to clam up before I say anything that is easily refutable or just plain wrong.

I will return again soon.  Perhaps I will discuss my take on "Avatar" when I next update.

The snow has stopped outside.  I can see across the park once more.